The Grouse Grind is stupid

Grouse Grind, North Vancouver

This thing was supposed to be really fun, but I forgot that people out west were crazy. It wasn’t some dandy nature trail hike into old growth forest, or a slight work out that made you feel incredibly accomplished at the end – no, this was an hour and a half of just stairs where upon reaching the top all I wanted to do was take a nap, not jump up and down to the anthem of Rocky. Along the trail, plastic blue markers nailed to the side of trees would mockingly tell you that even though you are out of breath and about to die, you’re only a quarter of the way there. I was so tired at the end that I fell asleep midway through the bear documentary they were showing in the lodge and completely missed the wildlife and scenic views I had hiked up there for. Yet the trail was popular. There were actual traffic jams on the side of the trail as people with watches tried to time their run up the mountain. It was disgusting. The girl I hiked with for a while told me the fastest time up the mountain was something like twenty minutes and there’s one guy who hiked it eleven times in one day. I’m sorry, but that’s stupid. I’m all for fitness, but they need to get a life, and a girlfriend. The hike was certainly not a total waste of time, it was just an experience.

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